The 7 Myths of Saying No as a Product Manager

There are many myths around How to say no as a PM.

Here are the 7 most common myths:

How do you say no? I go into detail in the newsletter.

Myth 1 — Know your stuff so you have sound reasoning ready

This advice is a kind of sigma grindset mentality that you should “just work harder,” do more to “talk to your customers” & “understand the numbers” so you can deflect every request like a Jedi.

In reality, you can’t possibly be prepared for the litany of feature requests your stakeholders will throw at you.

You can’t just magically have the right evidence in front of you. You need to be able to process ideas real-time & address them in the moment.

Myth 2 — Whenever possible, show it’s not ‘not forever,’ just for now

This type of advice is akin to the old adage: Put it in the backlog

It’s lying to yourself & your stakeholders. There are many ideas that you’re just never going to do — at least as long as you’re at the company & in charge of that product team.

It’s better to just give people a clear no. This prevents stakeholders from feeling like: “They’re so slow. They never get to my request.”

Myth 3 — Don’t say ‘I’

This is one of the oddest neuro-linguistic programming advice out there.

It’s important to take responsibility for any “no” decision.

A better template to think through is: “I don’t believe we should prioritize that now because…”

Myth 4 — Leave room for hope

This advice strays into the territory of “stringing your stakeholder along.” This is a great way to have the stakeholder stab you in the back, by saying that you couldn’t deliver for them.

It’s much better for them to say something like: “She explained that it was low impact because…”

If you make them think that they’re going to get the feature eventually & then never get it, they’re going to blame you.

Myth 5 — Try Not to Say ‘No’ When You Say No

This is another one of those pieces of neuro-linguistic programming advice that’s appropriate to totally ignore.

Leaving your stakeholder with a vague impression that you might do it is a good way to send mixed messages.

Every stakeholder who’s worked with PMs expects them to say no sometimes. It’s better to make clear it is one of those times. You just need to do it diplomatically.

Myth 6 — Show how you prioritize product decisions

This advice is perhaps the most common out there. And it makes sense.

But your stakeholder doesn’t care about your prioritization formula. They care about why you chose not to prioritize their genius idea.

So it’s better to focus on what else you are prioritizing, instead of the mechanics of why.

Myth 7 — It’s all about the conversation

Saying no to the wrong stakeholder can result in getting your resources taken away, people bad-talking your work in other areas, & people generally not wanting to work with you.

The actual single conversation isn’t the most important thing.

It’s more about the entire context of the interactions: what power they come to the table with, how the discussion proceeds, & how you follow up.