What No One Tells You About Being a Product Manager
Unfiltered truths from inside the product trenches
There’s something almost mythical about product management.
To outsiders, it looks like the perfect blend of leadership and creativity. You’re building things. Making decisions. Owning outcomes. It’s strategic. It’s respected. It’s the dream.
Until you get the job.
Then, reality hits.
You spend hours in meetings that go nowhere. You juggle demands from five departments, all convinced their request is the top priority. You try to write a PRD at 10 PM because that’s the only quiet time you have. And somewhere between chasing alignment and fixing broken flows, you wonder if you’re doing any real work at all.
Here’s the truth: PMing isn’t glamorous. It’s messy, high-stakes, and often misunderstood. But knowing what you’re really signing up for is half the battle.
So let’s talk about it.
These are the things they don’t put in job descriptions. The truths your favorite LinkedIn thought leaders conveniently skip. And the lessons I wish someone had sat me down and told me, when I first put “Product Manager” in my email signature.
Being liked won’t get you promoted
Impact will
Early in your PM journey, there’s a dangerous instinct that kicks in.
You want to be liked.
You nod in meetings. You say yes to suggestions that don’t belong on the roadmap. You try to keep everyone happy. You’re the diplomat. The peacemaker. The team player.
But here’s the thing.
The best PMs I’ve worked with weren’t trying to be liked. They were obsessed with one thing: impact.
Not ego-driven, shout-from-the-rooftops kind of impact. But focused, outcome-first execution. The kind that moves metrics. That wins users. That earns trust through results, not niceness.
They didn’t fold when a VP demanded a feature that didn’t align with the vision. They didn’t build something just because “sales promised it.” They knew how to say, “we’ll explore that” without blinking — and they meant it.
One of the highest compliments I ever heard about a PM was whispered by an engineer:
Nothing gets on their roadmap unless it deserves to be there.
Not liked. Respected. There’s a difference. Learn it early.
You are the decision maker — and people will hate that
It’s a weird contradiction.
You’re the PM, which means everyone looks to you for decisions. But the moment you make one, people start questioning it.
Take a marketer who’s been selling to this user for a decade. Or a designer who’s spent their whole career perfecting experiences. Or an engineer who’s built systems more complex than your last four jobs combined.
They hear your decision and think,
Who are you to say no?
This is the emotional tax of the PM job. You’re rarely the expert, yet you’re constantly expected to make calls that affect people’s careers and pride.
No one hands you automatic authority in this role. You earn it. Every sprint. Every meeting. Every conversation.
You don’t win people over with titles. You do it with logic. With clarity. With humility.
Product managers aren’t CEOs of the product. They’re janitors. They clean up ambiguity and make the place easier to navigate.
That’s not glamorous. But it’s real.
The 40-hour PM is a myth
Let’s get uncomfortable for a second.
I’ve worked at companies where PMs did their job in 40 hours. They were calm. Focused. Balanced. It was lovely.
But most of the high-performing PMs I know?
They work more like 60.
That’s not because they’re inefficient. It’s because the job is split in two.
From 10 to 6, they’re in meetings. Unblocking teams. Responding on Slack. Fielding fires. Managing up.
From 6 to 10, they’re doing actual product work. Deep thinking. Writing strategy docs. Refining specs. Planning roadmaps.
That’s not sustainable forever. But pretending it’s not reality in many teams is worse.
PMs who expect to thrive with zero slack, zero docs, and zero sacrifice are playing the wrong game.
This job isn’t just execution. It’s storytelling. Anticipation. Clarity in chaos. And those things take time.
Slow responders get left behind
I used to batch my messages.
Three blocks a day. Morning. Lunch. Evening.
It made me feel productive. Disciplined. Balanced.
Until I realized no one was waiting for my responses anymore. They’d found faster routes. They’d stopped looping me in. I had accidentally removed myself from the core of the team.
Here’s the truth:
Responsiveness is trust.
You’re the glue. When you’re slow, the team slows down. When you’re fast, things stay in motion.
This doesn’t mean you should live on Slack. But it does mean you need to be reliably available when it matters.
Every product org has two roads — a fast one and a slow one. Over time, teams will default to the fast one. If you’re not on it, you’re not on the team.
As one engineering lead once told me,
I didn’t stop asking the PM. I just started asking someone else who replied faster.
Let that one sit.
Final thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, maybe you’re thinking this job sounds brutal.
And honestly, sometimes it is.
The hours are long. The praise is rare. The responsibility is heavy. The ambiguity is endless.
But it’s also one of the most fulfilling roles out there. You get to shape products that people use. Solve problems that matter. Influence decisions that ripple across teams.
You just need to walk in with your eyes open.
Great PMs aren’t built in books. They’re forged in tough calls, sleepless weeks, and quiet wins that only their team sees.
If you’re here for the glory, look elsewhere.
But if you’re here for the hard problems, the real ones — welcome.
We’ve been waiting for you.
